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Post by Lenny on Sept 15, 2007 19:21:33 GMT -5
My mother is staying with my brother Richie in Chicago for two month's while my sister travels to Italy with a friend. She left yesterday from New York to Milan and then a guided tour of the rest of Italy. A well deserved rest after caring for my father and mother, her husband and her mother-in-law all these years.
I called to speak to my mother today and she acknowledged me as her long lost brother. She really does not know who I am anymore or the grandkids when they call her. She's physically fine, but her memory is totally gone. It's sad, but in another way it's okay, because she doesn't remember yesterday or even what she did an hour ago and doesn't really feel or understand the pain of what is happening to her because she doesn't remember one minute to the next at age 94. It's sad for the family though to see her like this.
Mickey's mom in Texas was just diagnosed with stage 4 Kidney, Rectal and Pancreatic Cancer at age 85. Prognosis....."Terminal." They are not sure they will even try to treat her.
God bless our moms and may their end of life experience culminate in a peaceful and painless eternal sleep in the blessed hope of rising again to eternal life as promised by our Christian faith.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2007 19:41:51 GMT -5
Dear God, we place our worries in your Hands.
We place our sick under Your care and humbly ask
that you restore your servants to health again.
Above all, please grant us the grace to acknowledge
Your holy will and know that whatsoever You do,
You do for the love of us
AMEN
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2007 5:34:16 GMT -5
Dear Lenny,
Just remember no matter what you can still speak with your Mom even if she forgets who you might be.
Very sorry to hear about Mickey's Mother.I will keep her in my prayers.
So happy for your sister, she has had it very hard being a caregiver and now it is time for her to enjoy all the things she could not do for so many year. God Bless her.
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Post by Lenny on Sept 16, 2007 6:27:42 GMT -5
It's been my tradition for all 37 years living in Florida to call mom every Saturday morning at 10:00 a.m. God forbid I didn't call until later, she would call and ask.........."What's the matter....you forgot your mother?"
Now I called her yesterday and I will call again today, but she will not remember that I called her yesterday and if I didn't call at all, she would not remember to call and ask..........."What's the matter, you forgot your mother?"
In her family, there were six girls and five brothers. Five of the girls have Alzheimers now but none of the brothers have it and they are in their 80's.
It's a devastating disease, especially for the care givers. They are experimenting with medicine that shows hope for the future but you know how long it takes the FDA to approve new medicines. Researchers think they know now what causes it and what part of the brain is affected. I hope for our sake they come up with the cure for our generation and beyond. It can happen to people with a family history and to people with no family history. My dad had it before he died at 85 years old, so with both parents having it....who knows what lies ahead?
We pray to the Lord for a cure!
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Post by wheezie on Sept 16, 2007 7:35:49 GMT -5
Lenny - I guess I should count my blessings. My mom who just turned 90 still lives alone in The Bronx. Not that we (my sister and myself) are happy with this, but she refuses to move. She is starting to lose her memory, and one of my fears is that she will forget to turn off the stove.
We have a very nice condo area here where there are mostly senior citizens and we could visit more often.
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Post by Lenny on Sept 16, 2007 8:05:01 GMT -5
Wheezie, there comes a time when a person reaches a certain age and condition where they think they can still make the right choices and decisions for themselves but they really are not capable and someone has to step in and make the choices on their behalf. Most of the time it's the children who take on this responsibility before something happens. Doctors can declare an individual incapable of caring for themselves.
My sister went through all this and took mom in rather than having her in a nursing home. During the day she stays at an adult daycare facility in Nyack then comes home at night. She's with my brother for a while in Chicago and during the day when he is working, mom goes to an adult day care facility in Chicago becuase he has a gas stove in the house and she can't be trusted alone.
We found out that Hospice offers a program paid by medicare called "Palliative Care" for the aging. It's available in most states but not everyone knows about it. A doctor can refer an aging person who is not able to care for themselves. It's a program designed to ease the aging process but not necessarily offer a cure for an ailment like Alzheimers for instance.
The good thing about it is that it's a daycare center where patients can be taken care during the day while family members work and then the patient is sent home to family every night. Lunch, snacks and activities are provided as well as transportation to and from the facility.
This takes the worry from family while they work and it cuts cost to medicare since the patients are sent home at night without the extra cost of room and board. You might ask your moms doctor about it. It's available in Nyack and Mayhopac is not that far away.
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Post by wheezie on Sept 16, 2007 8:15:24 GMT -5
Thanks for your input Lenny, but I don't think Mom is ready for that just yet. She still manages pretty well by herself, and we have a good support system. My sister checks in with her in the morning, and there is a neighbor who watches during the day. At about 4pm I call and check in. The neighbor across the street watches every evening. If at a certain time, the kitchen light doesn't go out and the living room light on, this is a red flag and Marie or Bob calls or goes on over to check.
Once again, thanks for your concern.
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